The Webster dictionary defines divorce as “ The action or an instance of legally dissolving a marriage.” However, there are a series of consequences that can be developed when the marriage involve children. As an adult, we cope in different ways when our family somehow is torn apart. It would not be less excruciating for the children. According to Jayna Solinger, one of the biggest problems that divorce imposes on children is the decision of whom to live with. Usually parents divorce when children are small and the children have no say in where they go (Solinger). Also, because a child will be living with only one parent, consequently the relationship with the other parent can be somehow damaged.
The article Effects of Divorce on Children written by Christina Gregorie, explains the reaction of each age group. Children under the age of 5 have various reactions depending on their personality. These kids will probably have one of these responses; they will: Cry. Then, they will act as if they didn’t hear about the divorce. Change the subject. That's because they want to stop their feelings. Show no emotion. Then, they will leave the room to process their feelings. (Parents should continue to reach out to this type of quiet child.) When young children need to understand the world around them, they use toys and play. For little ones, play is work. Parents need to use playtime, art, and stories to talk to young children. Children over 5 or 6 will usually either: “Get sad and cry”, “Get angry and yell”. After this initial reaction, a school age child will either: “Ask questions immediately”, “Stomp out of the room” and come back with questions. (Possibly, several times). Parents of schoolchildren should be prepared to answer these two common questions: "Can I still see my Daddy if he moves away?", "Will Mommy and I have enough money to live on, if Daddy moves away?". An adolescent’s reaction will probably be extreme. Teens who hear about their parents’ divorces will probably react in one of three ways: Intense anger. Then, they will scream something like: "Why are you trying to ruin my life?" Tears and bitterness. Then, they'll give a sad retort like: "How can you do this to me? It’s so unfair." Have no visible reaction. Then, they will add a nonchalant quip like: "Who cares, anyway?" (With this child, parents must brace themselves for a major backlash) (Gregorie).
Some children will understand that braking vows without a second thought is ok, and will believe that it would be correct if it happens to me too. Children are like sponges they learn and develop everything they see and hear. Some of them will understand from this experience that they do not have to work out their problems, as long as they can run away.
Aline Barros.
The article Effects of Divorce on Children written by Christina Gregorie, explains the reaction of each age group. Children under the age of 5 have various reactions depending on their personality. These kids will probably have one of these responses; they will: Cry. Then, they will act as if they didn’t hear about the divorce. Change the subject. That's because they want to stop their feelings. Show no emotion. Then, they will leave the room to process their feelings. (Parents should continue to reach out to this type of quiet child.) When young children need to understand the world around them, they use toys and play. For little ones, play is work. Parents need to use playtime, art, and stories to talk to young children. Children over 5 or 6 will usually either: “Get sad and cry”, “Get angry and yell”. After this initial reaction, a school age child will either: “Ask questions immediately”, “Stomp out of the room” and come back with questions. (Possibly, several times). Parents of schoolchildren should be prepared to answer these two common questions: "Can I still see my Daddy if he moves away?", "Will Mommy and I have enough money to live on, if Daddy moves away?". An adolescent’s reaction will probably be extreme. Teens who hear about their parents’ divorces will probably react in one of three ways: Intense anger. Then, they will scream something like: "Why are you trying to ruin my life?" Tears and bitterness. Then, they'll give a sad retort like: "How can you do this to me? It’s so unfair." Have no visible reaction. Then, they will add a nonchalant quip like: "Who cares, anyway?" (With this child, parents must brace themselves for a major backlash) (Gregorie).
Some children will understand that braking vows without a second thought is ok, and will believe that it would be correct if it happens to me too. Children are like sponges they learn and develop everything they see and hear. Some of them will understand from this experience that they do not have to work out their problems, as long as they can run away.
Aline Barros.
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