Why Divorce Affects Children?

A child's perception of divorce will be largely determined by age and gender, as

 well as the child’s history of stress and coping. When stressful events out weigh

 the positives memories, even the most resilient child can develop problems. Some experts suggests that certain factors may make some 

children more at risk for maladjustment than other children. Some are

 unalterable and some existed before divorce.  Almost everyone agrees that divorce affects all the children

 in the family at some time and to some degree. Some effects of divorce emerge

 rapidly following separation and some of these increase over the first years 

following divorce and then decline; still other may emerge later.

      

Almost everyone agrees that divorce affects all the children in the family at 

some point. Some effects of divorce emerge rapidly following

 separation and some of these increase over the first years following divorce and

 then decline; still other may emerge later. Another factor is that the non-custodial 

parent, usually the father, tends to progressively disengage from his children over

the years following a divorce, both geographically and emotionally. A nurturing

father-child relationship is crucial for children' long term development. Without

such a relationship, children may experience emotional frustration and confusion.  

As indicated earlier, inter-parental conflict has powerful direct effects on 

children functioning. A rule of thumb is the greater the conflict between 

divorcing parents, the greater the number of problems the children will

 experience. Findings from several research studies indicate that certain effects of

divorce are quite persistent even when a wide range of pre-divorce conditions is

considered. 

Children can sometimes experience what might be called the “sleeper

effect”. They recover rather quickly following the divorce, but because of denied

feelings at a subconscious level, feelings about the divorce may emerge at some

point later in life. It is a delayed reaction. Professional counselors have shown that

all kinds of traumatic experiences of childhood can be repressed in the

subconscious. For example, sexual abuse or physical abuse might be “forgotten”

for a number of years and emerge at some later point in adulthood. The same can 

be true of the trauma caused by divorce.

Nooshin Pourkarim